Jane Realizes
by squirrel2
Summary: Jane had thought Jester was the one for her, but it turns out her true love had been hiding in plain sight all of her life.


Jane Realizes

Disclaimer: I do not own JatD. If I did, there would be many more episodes and a movie coming out.

Note: I am a J/J fan, but I thought I would go for something else. Maybe a oneshot, I'm not sure. It depends on the reviews.

On the bed in her disorganized room, Jane sat, weeping large, clear tears. They fell from her eyes like raindrops, and the puddle beneath her feet was becoming large. _I never cry, never_, thought Jane. But she continued her sobbing for she could find no better way to get the emotion out of her. Jane's immense sadness was caused by one person, the person she thought she loved. Now, as she realized she was not loved, she felt hopeless. _My life is just fighting and training; it has no purpose_, she thought. _No one loves me; no one cares how I feel._ Previously, Jane had thought the worst feeling in the world was physical pain, but she found now that it was loneliness.

No one cared, except for Dragon. But he was different. Dragon was her friend, and he cared for her in a different way. He would always be her friend, but Jane didn't just need friendship; she also needed love.

Jane blamed herself for her misery. It had been her fault Jester abandoned her. She never let him be more than a friend, as she was always concentrated on training and becoming the best. He had given up on her, and it was her fault, so Jane thought herself pathetic crying. And then she had a memory that upset her even more. If it hadn't been for Jester, she would have never trained to be a knight. He was the reason she was living her dream, and so Jane now felt even guiltier. Jester had given her the gift of her knighthood and she hadn't even been nice enough to give him back some love. _Maybe he's happier now, _she figured, trying to calm herself down.

Jester was now courting a girl named Maja, and he seemed perpetually happy when around her. She was a pretty, blonde, Italian girl the same age as Jester, and had moved to Kippernium recently. They had met when Jester was at the market getting new strings for his lute, and she had been in need of help. Maja didn't speak English, only Latin. Jester was fluent in many languages and aided in helping her family get settled. He found her as a replacement for Jane, who had never accepted him, and fell in love with her.

Jane now forced herself to get up. Once she was standing, her hair wild and her face red and sticky, she found she had nowhere to go. Without love, she felt lost; never really settled or safe. Just a wandering loner, walking in circles for the rest of her life. The tears attempted to flood back into her green eyes, but she resisted. Tears would solve none of her problems; they would only make them worse.

As Jane opened the door of her room and began to stroll outside, she wondered if there was anyone else for her. She had once thought Gunther loved her, and had been surprised at her disappointment when she had found out he did not. No one else she could think of caught her attention like Jester did. She had thought he was the one; that they would grow up and get married and have children with a mixture of wit, determination, and loyalty. Or at least she had thought loyalty. Jane thought Jester was loyal, and now she realized he was not. Now she felt another wave of crushing sadness and disappointment.

Down the steps she fled, fleeing from something that would never go away. Reality would never go away; it would just stay there, haunting her. Jane decided a conversation with someone would help that feeling go away. She headed towards the kitchens to talk with Pepper.

Once she reached the gardens, she halted. Rake and Pepper were there, talking and laughing. Jane suddenly felt very jealous; Rake and Pepper had a stable relationship and would probably get married and be happy. She took back her idea and decided to instead walk inside the castle building.

She strolled through every hallway, listening to the sounds in the castle. There weren't many, so the sounds she did hear were distinct. As she turned down the hallway to the Throne Room, she heard a sound that grabbed her attention. It was the sound of the King and Queen's voices. Jane once again became jealous, for the King and Queen loved each other and had a family. She did her best to overcome her emotions so that she could hear their conversation. But just as soon as she had begun listening, they stopped speaking. Then she heard a voice that stirred more emotions in her than she could count. Jester.

Sadness, hopelessness, and anger were a few of the emotions Jane felt. Her amount of anger surprised her at first, but then she began to understand it. She had always been a strong believer in truth and loyalty, so Jester's betrayal had really set her off. Not wanting to hear his voice any longer, Jane ran down the hall and back into the welcoming outdoors. She decided she needed some time alone, so Jane headed towards the stables.

Smithy was there sharpening some swords, as usual. Jane didn't feel like chatting, so she quickly asked him to saddle Cleva. He of course wanted to know why she wasn't going to ride Dragon, and asked her if she was arguing with him again.

"No, I just need some time alone," said Jane in a distant voice. She felt a new emotion now, but she couldn't figure out what it was. She decided to ignore it and waited silently for Smithy to saddle Cleva. He finished quickly and directed the horse over to Jane. She simply said, "Thank you" and forced herself up onto the animal. Smithy stood near Cleva, making sure the saddle was on correctly. He looked up at Jane, worried that something was wrong. Her posture was confident, but when he looked into her eyes he knew she was upset.

Jane looked back into his eyes and suddenly realized what she had been oblivious to since Smithy had come to the castle. Shielded in his quiet, blue eyes was love. It was an awkward, yet incredible moment for both of them. Jane quickly looked away out of embarrassment and signaled for Cleva to go forward.

As she rode off into the woods, Jane realized that Smithy was her true love, not Jester. She had never thought of him in that way before, as she had been focused on Jester and Smithy had hid his feelings from her. Now as she got farther away from the castle, her sadness, hopelessness, and anger disappeared. They were replaced by new feelings- confidence, eagerness, and security. Jane had finally found what she was looking for.


End file.
